Reading the wonderful work of Dr Iain McGilchrist, I came across the following this morning, a quote from Friedrich Schlegel, ‘One can only become a philosopher. As soon as one thinks one is a philosopher, one stops becoming one.’ A philosopher is never in possession of the truth, but endlessly searching for it. (McGilchirst, I., (2021)‘The Matter with Things’ page 560.)
It strikes me that the same can be said of us as humans generally, from a developmental perspective, we are endlessly becoming. Developmental coaching then is an endeavour to ‘midwife becoming’.
If we could stop seeing ourselves as ‘problems to be solved’ but instead as ‘potentialities to be nurtured’ as we continue our becoming, life would be more exciting. Imagine if we became pre-occupied with learning what the ideal conditions for our continued emergence are?
One might assume that to facilitate becoming we would exclusively look forward however it is not possible to become without also looking back. Its useful to have a deep understanding of who we have become in order to be free to continue our becoming.
I have seen great value derived by coachees by leveraging the Gestalt paradoxical theory of change (Arnold Beisser). A counterintuitive approach to personal growth and development. The idea is that meaningful and lasting change occurs when we fully accept and embrace who we are in the present moment, rather than striving to become something different.
The Cape Cod school of Gestalt highlights the value of appreciating what is ‘well developed’, not resisting it or trying to avoid it but noticing it and welcoming it. In so doing the less developed can emerge thus facilitating growth. In practical terms this may involve drawing a coachees attention to the quality of their rationalisation, spending time noticing it, perhaps even accentuating it. This can result in the coachee becoming more aware of their capacity for rationalisation and use it more intentionally rather than have it using them, a subject object shift.
Akin to John O Donohue’s Unfinished Poem - ‘I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.’ I continue to look for useful ways to support my becoming and that of the people, teams and organisations I am privileged to work with!
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